Yesterday Declan had his tail in a knot because he couldn't find his monkey (you remember the barrels of monkeys? well he's down to 3 monkeys and had misplaced one of them). Declan likes order and is very single minded.....the complete opposite of his mother and sometimes I find him hard to understand. He was convinced that he'd dropped one of the monkeys between the couch (it's a sectional). Even after we had moved the different pieces of the couch and he still couldn't locate the monkey, he was insistant that it was there. I could feel myself growing frustrated as he cried over this stupid monkey and nothing helped calm him. Finally I sat down on the edge of his bed and took his little hands in mine and started to pray. I couldn't remember the last time I had done that with him. I asked God to help us find the monkey. I told Declan that God cared about everything that concerned us; even his missing monkey. By the end of the prayer we were BOTH crying. We spent some time looking for the missing monkey, Declan calmed down and I was reminded that God does care about what concerns Declan.....as well as what concerns Declan's mother.
I headed to Ogdensburg late afternoon. Somehow the keys to one of our vehicles had gotten locked in the car (some electrical problem with the door locks) and Tess' interim health card being the only ID she has was locked inside. I figured they'd still let me cross and headed out. I had to explain my sad story, but the guy at the US border let me bring Tess in. He likely figured it was such a tale, I couldn't have made it up. This morning when I came back into Canada it was again on my mind.....sometimes these border guys have no common sense at all and despite the fact that I cross that border 3 or 4 times a week, today might be the day I get some new guy who is making sure he asks for ID (rarely do they even ask for it at the Canadian border) and whether or not I have any firearms, alcohol or tobacco. Instead, I had a super friendly guy who let me in with no problem......and tears came to my eyes as I was reminded again that God knows about even these little things that concern me. I asked Him to forgive me for forgetting, for doubting......again.
It has been a difficult week and I found myself one day thanking God for the discomfort. I can't go into details of all that is going on but circumstances have arisen and there is a need for change; a change I know that God has been preparing me for. I'm not completely sure of all that is going on, but it is time to course correct. Walls have gone up that really need to come down and though I know it won't be easy, it is time. Hope - REAL hope is found in brokeness; when we get to the end of ourselves and realize that we can't.....but God can.
Today I had the opportumity to share my "Declan story" to a friend. He said something and though I won't be able to repeat it word for word, it made sense to me. Often it is not the things we accomplish that are important, but the things we overlook in our busyness that are most important. Those few minutes I spent praying for the monkey meant something to both Declan and I.
.......By the way, we found the monkey and CAA unlocked the car door, too.
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