So I'm sitting with Rhys a few mornings ago and he's writing out his alphabet. Sounds simple, eh? He knows his alphabet and knows the sounds each letter makes but he struggles with recognizing some of the letters and writing the alphabet out takes him a while. So while he's doing it, I'm sitting there beside him, trying to spur him on but I`m noticing that everything coming out of the boy's mouth is negative. Everything. He wasn't just whining about having to do it, he is saying stuff that was just....wrong!
Though it wasn`t the first time he's complained about having to do school work (an academic he isn`t) and it wasn't the first time he's spoken negatively about himself (we call him Eyore) the effect it had on me was a first and I felt.....helpless. I didn`t know what to do. I knew I couldn`t do what I usually did and so I started to write:
"God, I see myself in Rhys. The frustration and negativity. The self-deprecation to the point where he doesn`t even want to try. He`s lying to himself....but when he's encouraged, he beams!......He needs me; he needs me to encourage him.... He needs me to build him up......Thank you, Father; thank you for eyes to see. Help me to speak life."
Sometimes as a mom, God gives me one of those "teaching moments"; I love that. More often as a mom, God has given me "student moments". Opportunities when He is showing me, reminding me of things that I am talking to one of the kids about. In the past few weeks, I have watched as my children have shown courage, discipline, love, loyalty, forgiveness....to people in their sphere of influence, of which I am one, and I have been challenged to my core.
While I'm writing, I'm crying. I turn to my boy and say "Rhys, you're lying to yourself honey....don't believe those lies. You are not stupid. You are not an idiot. You are a smart boy and you do like to learn. I see you smile when you read; I see you smile, Rhys. Sometimes it's hard, yes, but it is worth it honey. It's hard now, yes, but you can do it, Rhys, and it will have been worth it!"
I don't know if I've communicated this well at all, but it was like someone flicked a switch; not only in my head (or more correctly in my thinking) but in my son and the little boy who was spouting such.....crap.....barrelled through his Word Building and then was on to his math, alternating between telling me how easy it was, and how much he loved me.
"Can we do more, mom?"
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts
on what is true, and honourable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and
admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
Phil 4:8 NLT