The Get-away - Part 3

I've been home for 10 days and during that time I've been wondering what, if anything, I should share about my time away, other than it was great; everything went off without a hitch, including adjusting to the time difference! It was a time of relaxation, renewing and reconnecting.

I spent a day with Larry and Barb Warkentin. Larry was our pastor while we were in Yellowknife and Barb is the woman who was diagnosed a few years ago with MS and is currently scheduled for her second open heart surgery on August 8th. Her hope and prayer is that with her heart repaired, she'll be able to put away her walker and wheelchair for a while and lead a somewhat more normal life. I didn't know what to expect when I arrived there, but Barb looks great. Her sense of humour has not left her and I enjoyed my time with them both.

I also had an opportunity to spend Sunday and Monday of the May holiday weekend at a farm just north of Lloydminster, Alberta. The Belshiems own approx. 5,000 acres of land there with 900 head of cattle. Gillian Belsheim was an RCMP officer stationed in Yellowknife when we were there. We got to know her, John and Ariel through the little Christian school that our kids attended, and Brad and I both worked with her in our perspective jobs. Before we left YK, Gil did a stint in the Communications Centre with me (I worked for the RCMP for 2 years answering the emergency lines). We spent a lot of time catching up, sharing the good times and the bad. Gil took me for a tour of the land, which I thoroughly enjoyed. The farm is operated by Gil's three brothers and is the local drop in for the neighbouring farms. The coffee pot is always on; their life is family and the land and they do a great job of both. They've known some hard times, with several years of drought and then the mad cow fiasco, but they have persevered and despite the hard years, they look ahead to better ones. The busyness of the "big house" with people coming and going at all hours reminded me of home, minus the cows of course. After my time with Gil, I was reminded that there is great benefit in sharing. Whether we're sharing good times or bad, we're drawn together, unified; helps us to realize that we aren't alone (or crazy)and I believe that is part of God’s plan.

The day after we returned from the farm, I journeyed to Banff. It was about a 4.5 hour drive from Edmonton, and I love to drive so I took my time and enjoyed the scenery. Alberta is in the midst of a huge real estate boom, so there are subdivisions going up everywhere. Alberta is also experiencing a higher level of homelessness as a result, and for a province so rich in many things it is more than sad to see folks living in tents and picking through garbage bins.

There was a particular moment during the drive to Banff that really left me feeling overwhelmed and I don't know if I can do it justice here, but I've decided to give it a try. I'd left Calgary and was heading west toward Banff; it wasn't too long before the mountains came into view off in the distance and I was struck by their beauty. I could see places where it was dark and raining, and others where the sun shone brightly on the snow-capped peaks. I'm sure they each have their own story to tell. The closer I got, the more my emotions were affected and eventually I was crying. All I could think of was "Majesty" and so I took a few moments to tell God how beautiful his mountains were; how majestic was his creation. It was just a moment later when I thought "Debbie, it's just rock" and fresh tears fell. This may sound really simple to whoever is reading this, but it meant a great deal to me. We see such beauty in the mountains, but it's just rock; what does God see when he looks at me, his most loved creation?

He is overwhelmed and finds me breathtaking.

The Get-away - Part 2

After Christmas I sent out a Winter Greetings newsletter; I sent it out to all sorts of people and the wife of our pastor while we were in Yellowknife emailed back with a report of her own. She was diagnosed with MS a few years back; 3 years ago she walked 5km a day and within 4 months was in a wheelchair and that is where she has spent the last 2½ years of her life. In September 2006 she underwent open heart surgery for a valve repair. It was unsuccessful and her health status is not much improve and as a result of the surgery, her cholesterol is up which limits her diet.

I tried to draft a response back to her; but found myself unable to say anything. I wanted to say “just the right thing”; I wanted to encourage her......but that email just sat in draft.

At Easter, I sent an ecard and a picture of our family and again, she emailed back. The valve leakage was severe now and another heart surgery was required, however just prior to Easter she had to undergo an emergency hysterectomy, and the removal of her fallopian tube. The heart surgery would be delayed until June or August.

I felt much the same as I had when I'd read her first email. I wanted to encourage her but I didn't know what to say.....anything that came to mind sounded trite and shallow. As I thought about her, I realized that though I've not struggled with health issues (thank you Lord), I have struggled. I have felt hopeless and helpless and I could so relate to something she'd said: "Things aren’t always as we anticipate or expect and I have come to learn that life can change rather quickly."

Rabbit trial. One of my greatest desires growing up was to marry and have a family. When I met and got to know Brad, I discovered that we shared this desire for family......a large family. Before we got married we discussed the options and whether we should wait before we started having babies. Ultimately we decided not to. Little did we know that when we returned home from beautiful BC I was carrying a 'lil something extra!

Four weeks later, my new husband, father and sister were involved in a head-on car accident on highway 17 just east of Sault Ste. Marie. It was a miracle that they survived, along with the young man who was driving the other vehicle. It was during the days following the emergency surgeries that I learned we were expecting. I remember dad being in ICU, unable to speak and watching his eyes as I told him he was going to be a grampa. That was lesson number 1 in learning that we are not in control of what happens and things aren’t always as we anticipate or expect and can change rather quickly.

Back to that email. I looked to a couple people for their insight and wisdom; I'm so thankful for the counsel of others in my life! One of those individuals shared with me that his response to situations like these is often face-to-face time with the individual. Given this sort of situation, a personal visit is often called for and would greatly appreciated. Knowing that I was planning a get away, he he asked me if I would spend time out west if Brad couldn’t go with me?

Me? Go out there....alone? I didn't say anything out loud, but I sure was coming up with lots of excuses as to why I couldn't, shouldn't, wouldn't be able to do that. As the day wore on I couldn't NOT think about it, quite a bit, actually, and I became more and more enchanted I guess you could say, with the idea.

I can go;

I can be a friend;

I can listen;

I can cry;

I can share from my own experiences;

I can pray with her.....

and not only can I go, but I realized that I needed to go and I needed to go alone; as much for me as for her. She was what God used to get me to think beyond myself and the limitations I place on myself. Once I made that realization, I was so excited and I still am! Plans have continued to come together and the timing of it all couldn't be better. Almost like it was taken completely out of my hands and somebody else had planned it all!

Once this was settled, I was able to find the words to share with my friend. The only real omfort that I’ve found during those difficult times comes from knowing deep down that He loves me and that He is ultimately in control and no matter how I feel or what is going on, I can trust Him. As hard as the circumstances of this life might be and as much as I may not understand the whys of it all, it has been in and through those difficult times that I’ve learned more about God and who He is, and wants to be, for me.

Celebrating Meagan

Jeremiah 29:11 I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out - plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.

I got a call from Meg earlier this evening; she's a 2nd year University student majoring in economics and had went through an application process to do her 3rd year in Europe....today she found out she was accepted and will be heading to the Czech Republic in August! She's been talking about this since before she went to University.

She is SO excited, and we are for her. She'll be home tomorrow afternoon for Ben's birthday celebration.....now we can make it a double header!

Woo hoo!

1. Meg's discharge picture (dob Apr 9, 1987)

2. Meg's highschool grad picture

3. Meg was involved in Cadets for 5 years and spent 7 weeks in the Summer of 2005 in Gatineau, Quebec at Power Camp and obtained her private pilot's license. She has always wanted to fly and has her sights set on owning her own plane.

4. Meg and a very pregnant me. We had taken the labour day weekend before she started University and got away together; it was great.

Addictions

So was anybody else slightly addicted to this when they first started, or is it just me??

Boys to Men

No, not the singing group; our Ben is 18 today.

I can't remember not wanting a Ben. Any of the Ben's I knew growing up were great guys and there seemed to be something special about a man named Ben...."Gentle Bens". My pregnancy with Ben was great, as was the delivery. I remember sitting up in bed in the recovery area, making phone calls to let everybody know that we'd had a boy. He was beautiful, and as he grew he became more so to me. He had curly blonde hair, dark brown eyes and a smile that would light up a room. I remember my dad telling me before Ben's 2nd birthday that I needed to have his picture taken so I could capture his smile. "He's a charmer", dad would say.

And he was. Benjamin was, and is, a sensitive soul. It didn't always work for him, though. As a little boy he could come across overly-so; he was so particular about everything from his looks to his school work to his room. You could always tell what side of the room was Ben's. The kids love to hear stories about themselves, and we love to tell them....Brad shares the story of the time when he heard Ben long before he saw him coming with his arm help up at an awkward angle, finger pointing towards his wrist. Brad thought he must have fallen and sprained it or something (it would certainly explain the animal-like howl that he was hearing) but soon saw that Ben was pointing at a string hanging from the cuff of his immaculately buttoned (up-to-the-neck) shirt.

Ben still likes to look good; his academics achievements are many and his room......is probably the cleanest of anybody's around here. Ben has had some struggles and will have some more, but his sensitive side works better for him now and will continue to as he matures and will serve him well as he pursues his dreams. I didn't want today to pass without acknowleding his birthday.

Benjamin, I love you and am proud of you; Happy Birthday, my son.

Get-away

Yesterday my husband blessed me by telling me it was my turn to get away.

Woot! Woot!

I don't get away on my own (sans Brad or any number of children) often .....in fact the only time I can think of being away on my own in recent years was a couple weeks ago when I had to return to St. Joe Island for a family funeral.....not exactly the sort of get away one looks forward to. When you work for yourself, there are no paid vacations. You pay for the vacation before you go and then you pay for it again when you return in time.

Big family + self-employment = fewer vacations. I'm not complaining, it's the choice we've made.

But I'm excited....I've invited a friend along and we don't know where we're going yet but the anticipation and planning is half the fun.

When Brad worked for the Federal Justice Department and we lived in Yellowknife we had 3 great family vacations well, I missed the 1st one 'cause I started working for the Mounties and whey wouldn't give me the time. Brad drove back to Ontario with 5 kids.....that's a great story, but I digress. We took the entire month of January (Yellowknife = very cold + very dark) and hit the road.....it was awesome (and I don't use that word often). There wasn't "a" destination, but several: the one I most enjoyed was a circuitous route that included stops in Calgary, the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, Disney Land....well, you get the idea. We had no end of trouble on that particular trip with the vehicle we drove. It was a big white suburban with polar bear license plates.....we looked like a moving snow bank. The rear heater stopped working as we were driving out of the territories (in - 30 degree weather); the radiator went when we were driving through the desert; a belt broke in one of the front tires as we were driving through the red woods of BC and we lost power driving through the rockies. Add to that a problem that no garage seemed able to fix (even a chev specialist in Vegas); the burb would keep going slower and slower until Brad would just pull over, shut off the vehicle and wait......10 minutes, 20 minutes......whatever; eventually it would start fine and off we'd go again. But ya' know, it didn't ruin the journey but added to the flavour of what was already a great journey and provided us with some great memories and stories to tell!

A good trip reminds me our spiritual journey....it isn't just about the destination (though it's gonna be fabulous) but about enjoying the ride, "the journey" and even those hard things add to the flavour of our lives and leave us better off than we were.

So cool......

Where to go, where to go... Toronto, Montreal, Quebec City, Boston (love Boston), New York City.....I've always wanted to go to New York City but Brad has no desire to go there......I don't know but I don't care. It's gonna be fun 'cause I'm bringing a friend along for the ride.

Oh yeah.....the big old white suburban ran like a top for the final 2 hours of our month long trek. In fact, Brad's ankle got sore from holding his foot off the gas!

Go figure.

I'm stealing an idea I got from Tracy's blog (thanks Trace).....what great get-aways have you enjoyed? Did you encounter any problems along the way and, if so, did the problems add to your enjoyment or take away from it?

Anybody got an idea as to where we should go??

Babies, hormones and discovering God in their midst

Rhys Daniel, (beautiful, isn't he?) born on October 17, 2005 when I was 40 years old. He arrived 17 months after his much anticipated big brother, Declan Hewitt. Having babies at 39 and 41 has sure been a whole lot different than having 'em in my 20's.....

About 3 months after Rhys' birth, I found myself struggling and wasn't sure what was happening. For a time I thought perhaps I was losing my mind and the battle some days was overwhelming.....I cried buckets. I didn't want to acknowledge the thought that I was depressed and I didn't know enough about post partum to realize that it was largely hormonal. I believed that as a Christian it wasn't right for me to feel this way so I continued on my own to try to push those thoughts out of my mind. I did that for a while until I was so down, so desperate that I found myself searching the internet for information realting to post partum depression and finally acknowledged what my body was screaming at me. It was a step, a beginning. I did share my struggle with Brad who was supportive and a willing listener (like he had a choice! ) It was during that very difficult time that I was surprised by the birth of a new friendship.

A lady I had known for a few years offered to bring dinner out once a week (in lieu of yet another teeny-weeny outfit). Give me a night when I know dinner is covered and the world looks a whole lot brighter. I looked forward to those days the meal was great 'cause it filled a need in my house but the female companionship filled a need in me. It was during one of those visits I opened my mouth and blurted out "I think I need to see my doctor" and proceeded to haltingly explain how and what I was feeling. All of my fears were laid to rest when my graceless announcement was met with understanding and support. It was good. The amazing part was that exchange that takes place when you step outside your comfort zone; I was greatly encouraged and so was she.....and out of the muck and mire of life a new friendship was born. I can recall the excitement I felt as I ran downstairs to tell Brad through my tears of all that had happened and how much God cared. He'd shown up in the midst of my mess, on a dark day .....and he brought a friend.