Rhys Daniel, (beautiful, isn't he?) born on October 17, 2005 when I was 40 years old. He arrived 17 months after his much anticipated big brother, Declan Hewitt. Having babies at 39 and 41 has sure been a whole lot different than having 'em in my 20's.....About 3 months after Rhys' birth, I found myself struggling and wasn't sure what was happening. For a time I thought perhaps I was losing my mind and the battle some days was overwhelming.....I cried buckets. I didn't want to acknowledge the thought that I was depressed and I didn't know enough about post partum to realize that it was largely hormonal. I believed that as a Christian it wasn't right for me to feel this way so I continued on my own to try to push those thoughts out of my mind. I did that for a while until I was so down, so desperate that I found myself searching the internet for information realting to post partum depression and finally acknowledged what my body was screaming at me. It was a step, a beginning. I did share my struggle with Brad who was supportive and a willing listener (like he had a choice! ) It was during that very difficult time that I was surprised by the birth of a new friendship.
A lady I had known for a few years offered to bring dinner out once a week (in lieu of yet another teeny-weeny outfit). Give me a night when I know dinner is covered and the world looks a whole lot brighter. I looked forward to those days the meal was great 'cause it filled a need in my house but the female companionship filled a need in me. It was during one of those visits I opened my mouth and blurted out "I think I need to see my doctor" and proceeded to haltingly explain how and what I was feeling. All of my fears were laid to rest when my graceless announcement was met with understanding and support. It was good. The amazing part was that exchange that takes place when you step outside your comfort zone; I was greatly encouraged and so was she.....and out of the muck and mire of life a new friendship was born. I can recall the excitement I felt as I ran downstairs to tell Brad through my tears of all that had happened and how much God cared. He'd shown up in the midst of my mess, on a dark day .....and he brought a friend.
